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Actually there is no RFC mandating header order. The fact that DKIM requires header order to maintained was noted as a potiential issue for the DKIM-base specification during the IETF last call.
The part that I find confusing is that you mark receipt of the mail from the outside world twice (and in your example from different IP addresses). That is where I think you go wrong.
If your successive received headers looked something like this, then I think no one would complain:
Received: from mailout00.controlledmail.com (localhost [127.0.0.1])
by mailout00.controlledmail.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id C92C85CC066;
Tue, 28 Nov 2006 04:59:13 +0000 (UTC)
Received: from [75.195.212.193] (193.sub-75-195-212.myvzw.com [75.195.212.193])
(using SSLv3 with cipher RC4-MD5 (128/128 bits))
(No client certificate requested)
by mailout00.controlledmail.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 36E675CC03F;
Tue, 28 Nov 2006 04:59:07 +0000 (UTC)
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